Thursday, April 3, 2008

If you wanna know what *I* think... and who wouldn't?

My brain is a jumbled mass of complete craziness this morning. This is probably due to the fact that I have decided to give up sex COMPLETELY to achieve a higher plane of existence. I haven't sprung that one on my HUSBAND yet, but how can he help but agree? I mean, c'mon, a HIGHER PLANE of existence? Whoda fuck wouldn't want that?

Go, forthwith and herefore, (my middle name is "I can speak all lawyer-ish on account of I work for an ATTORNEY, for Piss sakes") and read this post from Miss Britt. That girl is not only perky and CUTE, she's SMAWRT 2. I love her. I'm going to ask her to marry me later. Cross your fingers for me.

Also? Head on over to Lisa's blog, because she is also beautiful and needs prayers and love and support. I would ask her to marry me, too, but POLYGAMY is just WRONG, people.

And for Pete's sake go over to Janet's blog and send love and warm huggie-wishes to Roo Girl, who broke her arm Tuesday night. And on the EVE of high school cheer tryouts!! Oh God, the unfairness of it all...

I was quite the popular girlie on Twitter last night. Whoda thunk it? I bet it's a case of mistaken identity and everyone thinks they are following that OTHER Miss Ann Thrope. Fuck, I gotta get a new name, and SOON!!

Speaking of that OTHER Miss Ann, she is doing quite the amazing thing for Lisa. I'm impressed all over the place. I'd ask her to marry me, too, but I'm a little afraid of her. And, probably, Annie would call me an IDIOT again, and I'd have to run over her with my car.

Here's a FUNNY THING from Sunday:

So, Thing 1 drove us all to Sam's Club. We don't often go anywhere all at one time, because there is usually much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Sunday was no different.

Husband informed Thing 1 that she very nearly took out part of the guardrail in the Wal-Mart/Almost Sam's Club parking lot, and Thing 1's mood plummeted to the bowels of Hell.

Thing 2 couldn't understand why she couldn't get the $160.00 weight bench, if Thing 1 was getting a "shit-load" of groceries to take back to college.

Husband remarked that he "didn't HAVE 8 bucks to buy you a damn bucket of flowers", simply because I said they were pretty. Fucker.

Thing 2 informed Thing 1 that she was, indeed, a hateful bitch.

Thing 1 allowed as how she hated the "entire cock-sucking, motherfucking world."

Thing 2 pointed out to Thing 1, that she very nearly was crashed into by a WILD AND CRAZY PARKING LOT DRIVER. "But," says Thing 2, "it wouldn't have been your fault."

I responded that THAT was really the whole point. "I think," says I, "That quite possibly we could have even had it written on all our tombstones... HERE LIES ANOTHER DEAD FAMILY. IT WASN'T THING 1'S FAULT."

I chuckled quietly to myself that I am incredibly witty.

I pouted that no one else seemed to agree.....

In other news, I AM NOT GETTING ENOUGH FUCKING QUESTIONS TO ANSWER. This must be rectified, post haste. (that means right the fuck NOW, in case you don't speak italic.)

I'll post answers to the pitiful few I've received thus far tomorrow.

Voting ends tonight for the "REname Miss Ann Contest-a-palooza!" Please keep those votes coming. You guys are jacking up my stats quite nicely. I'm almost POPULAR!!


Miss Britt said...

Well, you have to buy me a ring. And get down on one knee.

A girl's gotta have STANDARDS.

Deb said...

I loved Britts post as well!

Now about you two getting hitched>>>>

Bina said...

Okay, I visited all the web sites, put the link for donations on my web site, donated, and have visited Ann. You kept me busy for a while!

You are so freaking funny! Thing 1 and Thing 2? Sounds like me and my husband! LOL But in a good way, cause we love each other, and when I call hima fucker he (usually) knows I'm joking (sometimes). LOL

Burfica said...

okay here is a question for you, how come you didn't go do my cuss o meter?????


And how come I don't get no lessie marriage kind of love.


aka_Monty said...

I have been SUCH A LURKER lately. Forgive me?