Thursday, August 28, 2008

A note from Miss Anne:

Dear Internets:


I gotta tell you, I WANT to write... I want to be cute and funny and entertaining. But I got NOTHING. I have sat here for DAYS, started fifty bazillion different posts, and then thought to myself, "Self, this sucks. Delete this motherfucker."

And you guys KNOW how I love to delete things...

So, I'm at a loss....

I feel so disconnected from the blog world. I go by your blogs, whether I comment or not, and believe me, I TRY to comment on all the ones I read, and I see you are writing, and life is HAPPENING to you, and....

I feel like I have been cryogenically frozen...

Help me out guys. Give me a topic to write about. Ask me a question. Leave a MEAN anonymous comment, so I have something to get PISSED about. (Mitchell, this does not mean you, and I will KNOW if you leave a mean comment, and I will tell Kate.)

Ask me for advice. It's free. Ask me for a recipe. Hell, I'm a fairly good cook. Ask me about a book, or a song, or....

Hell, I don't care what you say, or what you ask, I will respond to it. Otherwise, I'm going to write a post on how many bottles of shampoo are in my shower (8), how many books I own (43 million) or how long my leg hairs are (long enough to BRAID). I'll be forced to write about how many cigarette butts are in the ashtray beside my computer (36, but I'm working on another one, as I write this... PUFF, PUFF, BLOOOOW).

I'll tell you why I dry off with a hair dryer after my shower (because I believe towels just smear dead skin cells around on your skin...); How many times I gag when I brush my teeth (depends on how many times I try to brush my tongue); or why there is a HUGE oily stain on the leg of my favorite jeans (think dark movie theater... think popcorn... think EXTRA butter); or how many steps it takes me to get from my car to my office (73..).

Save me from myself. Save yourselves from everlasting ennui!! Help me escape from the razor toothed, ooze dripping, hot breathed jaws of writers block...

Loves!

Miss Anne

9 comments:

the planet of janet said...

*snort* you dry off with a HAIR DRYER?

i'll be back to ask questions later, when my brain is functioning (don't hold your breath -- that could take a decade or 2)

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

Hum...

Ya know, if you exfoliate really well in the shower it eliminates all that dead cell stuff...

Thanks for visiting my blog, btw...

I apparently am no help here...

Maybe you could quit smoking and blog about how that goes? (I'm just thinkin' of your health sistah.)

Most embarrassing moments? Strangest things on your ipod? If you were an animal which one would you be?

That's all I got.

Burfica said...

hmmm lets see. Okay what flavor pop tart is your favorite???


Why haven't you read the butt books yet???

shit I keep sitting here trying to think of more questions, but I got nothing too.

Bina said...

How 'bout the stupidest, or craziest thing you ever did as a teenager,

and...

when you first started swearing. I'll tell you my story about that.

My friend and I were in 7th grade, sitting at her dinning room table. Her gram raised her and she was bingo. We sat there, wrote down every dirty word we knew, and then tried to see who could use the most in one sentence and still make sense.

That was one of the best times I ever had with her. We laughed until we almost peed our pants.

Kirsten said...

Alrighty....my question of the week is: What the hell can I fix for dinner that is:

a.not expensive
b.reasonably nutritious
c.takes less than 30 min
d.delicious.

Chew on it and let me know what you think.....

Love you!

j holmes said...

how can i truly please my wife ? is it with my great girth or my lovely length. just chew on it and get back with me.

Barb said...

I struggle myself trying to write a post. Ya'll write so well!

I want to be clever!
I want to be clever!
I want to be clever!

:)

While in the shower, smooth on some baby oil and after you dry off you'll feel like a soft baby's ass! Have a great day! ;)

Rachel said...

My brain never functions so I won't even lie.

I've been dealing with brain dead'ness myself.

If your life were a novel and there was a chapter that included all the naughty bits ;-) what would the title be?

Anonymous said...

My friend and I were recently talking about technology, and how integrated it has become to our daily lives. Reading this post makes me think back to that discussion we had, and just how inseparable from electronics we have all become.


I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Ethical concerns aside... I just hope that as memory becomes cheaper, the possibility of uploading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I dream about every once in a while.


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