Monday, August 11, 2008

Just once, I'd like to LOVE Mondays....

So, here it is Monday again, and I'm kind of blah.....

I haven't blogged, haven't visited any blogs, haven't really even THOUGHT about blogging. I suck, I know.

Here's what's happening in MY neck o' the woods:

I have a horrible headache, which started yesterday morning at 10:30 a.m., and which REFUSES to acknowledge the SHITLOAD of tylenol that I've been feeding it. These are the times when it's fun to sleep alot.... visions of Lortab dancing in my head.

It's lonely at mamaw's house. We've been down there daily, either for breakfast or dinner, always trying to be cheerful, without being totally fake. She seems to be doing ok, though I suspect it's an act. However, I feel that if she cares enough to ACT for us, it's a positive sign.

Tomorrow, I shall be getting a brand new floor in my kitchen, which fills me with joy and hope. You would have to know what my CURRENT disgusting floor looks like to truly understand my joy. My hope is that I will continue to give a shit about my house and put forth that small effort to maintain the weekly cleaning that Anna-Banana gives it. At some point, after Vincent-the-saving-dog gives up the ghost, we will also be replacing the carpet in the living room, and I am DETERMINED to add a new sofa and chair. I've already picked it out, and bargained with husband for it. If he buys the carpet (which, by the way is the most expensive carpet you have EVER seen) I will buy the sofa. And it's fucking AWESOME, the sofa. I am in LOVE with it.

I have been a model wife, for the most part. I say for the most part, because I am still me, you understand. However, I have tried to minimize that fact by running errands, cleaning house, cooking, visiting with mamaw, and giving SEX when sex is requested. Believe me when I say that this is a HUGE big deal. I promised that I would work to become a good wife, and I will.

However....

Nothing is being done, on the part of Husband, in reciprocation. I don't mean in a sexual way. He's more than willing to do ANY freaky thing imaginable. And he works hard, and provides for us well. But he is FAILING me, nonetheless. I've tried talking to him about it, but I'm not going to allow myself to sound like a shrew. He just lost his father. I did however, make my feelings known. I reminded him that I AM STILL HERE, lest he forget, and his inability to make a decision regarding our future is wearing thin.

I put it simply: "I am trying to make you happy. I am doing the things that I know you want me to do, long before you have to ask me to do them. If you want to keep me here, it is important that you show me, in some small way, that my happiness means something to you, too. If you don't want to keep me here, let's make it as painless as possible, and part in a way that doesn't leave too many scars..."

The funny thing is, I don't think he likes the changes in me, as much as he thought he would. I think he liked it better when I was AFRAID of my future, when he could COMPLAIN about the time I spent on the computer, and about the house, and about every other way in which I FAILED HIM. He doesn't like to see strength in me.

I am determined that my life from here on out have some MEANING. To that end, I will pursue some kind of volunteer work. The two things I have thought about most are Hospice, and the assisted living home that papaw worked so devotedly for. I'm much more interested in giving my time at the assisted living home, in whatever capacity they will accept. This is important to me because I feel (and trust me, rightly so) that my life up to this point has been selfish and self serving. I NEED to give something back.

I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: I NEED A NEW HOBBY. Someone suggested scrapbooking, and, though I ADORE you for caring enough to make the suggestion, I'd rather a rattlesnake sink his fangs into the whites of my EYE and fill me with venom than take up scrapbooking. Likewise knitting, crochet, cross-stitch, sewing, quilting or any other needle-related thing. I can't draw or paint. I am not interested in making jewelry. There HAS to be something I can do. Put your thinking caps on and leave me some suggestions. I IMPLORE you. With love, of course.

I am finishing up Breaking Dawn, and find it to be the most putrid, chock-full-o-bull-shit piece of literature I have ever perused. I am almost ashamed to be reading it. Does anyone else share my view of this literary disaster? I know you do, Janet. Anyone else?

Thing 1 will go back to school this weekend. Again, my heart will go with her. Thing 2 has been in band camp since July 29. Every week day, 8:00 a.m. till 2:00 p.m. Trust me when I say that being hot and tired does NOTHING for Thing 2's mood. She's been a complete BITCH since band camp started. It gets better, I keep promising myself. Myself sees no sign of that yet, but is ever hopeful.

And now I'm off to get ready for yet another week of back-breaking work. Ha. I mean, sitting on my big butt and dealing with the scum of the earth... Did I mention I HATE Social Security? How about Bankruptcy? Wills? Estates? I hate them all......

Have a great week, internets... and remember, Miss Anne fucking loves you...

26 comments:

Bina said...

Ah Miss Anne. That's one thing I love about you. You NEVER beat around the bush. So, I'm assuming you DON'T want to do scrap booking. Right?

Hobbys. Well, let's see. Hmmmmm. Reading? Writing? Math? Running? Gardening? Helping stupid ass people? Oh, wait. You already to that at work.

I got nothing.

But, what you said about your husband not liking your changes? I have so been there. I swear you got it right when you said he is happier when he can bitch at you about something. Freaking men. I swear to God.

And that's all I'm saying about that!

Avitable said...

I liked Breaking Dawn - it was definitely not a predictable book.

Burfica said...

I just started breaking dawn. So far it's what I expected from her, same as the others to a bit.

as for hobbies. You could do the paint with water color books. Hell you could get coloring books. You could collect scabs (my brother in law does that) You could collect potato chips that look like something ( I would eat them)

You could grow herbs (but be careful you might be tempted to grow some wacky weed) Or you could start collecting every shade of lipstick and nail polish invented.

Just a few thoughts at the not normal hobby's lol

Miss Anne Derstood said...

Bina, I'm guessing it was you who suggested scrapbooking? boy is my face red!! hahaha

Adam, I don't need predictable. I do, however, expect an author to remember her own fucking rules and stick by them.

Burf, scabs? I will never be able to get that image out of my brain, thank you very much!!!

Avitable said...

What rules did she break?

Miss Anne Derstood said...

She said vampires couldn't produce children. And don't give me that crap about Bella being human at the time... Vampires have no BLOOD. They are DEAD. They don't BREATH. He could NOT HAVE LIVING SPERM. NOT POSSIBLE. Even in SCI/FI, for crying out fucking loud.

Avitable said...

Sure he could. He has blood, it just doesn't pump. They still bleed if they're hurt.

Miss Anne Derstood said...

THEY DO NOT!!! Adam, listen, blood has to PUMP into that particular organ to make it WORK. Fine, Im willing to overlook that small thing, because obviously Bella and Edward were going to have sex. HOWEVER, there must be SOMETHING keeping that sperm ALIVE, and what could that be? They don't breathe. They do not have a hearbeat. Their bodies are like stone. They never have to use the bathroom, sleep or even sit down. They don't blink! And you're going to tell me that even with all of that, they have living sperm inside of them?

Bullshit.

I know it's science fiction. I know NONE of it is real. But doggone it, I want to believe it COULD happen anyway!!!

grrr.

baseballmom said...

WTF? I leave for a day or two and...vampires?! Sorry, I don't read those, so I don't know if it's good or not, just not my cuppa. And also...scabs?! Oh, my god. Where does he keep them? EW. I think the assisted living thing sounds awesome. My grandpa is 93, and one thing he misses A LOT is being able to see well enough to read. Maybe you could start going over there and reading to someone, or a group? Read a good book, and do maybe a chapter or two a week? I dunno, it seems like a fun thing, and I know you like to read like me! I think some of the older people would appreciate something like that :)

the planet of janet said...

i totally agree with miss anne. in fact, i have personally renamed this book "breaking rules."

in addition to breaking all the physicality rules of vampires, she ALSO had unmitigated gall to break EVERY newborn vamp rule she had established.

again, let's not get tangled up in bella's "specialness" here. she could NOT have had that kind of control as a newborn. to be able to be in the same room with her father and that lawyer and not even twitch? nope. nope. nope.

and dont EVEN get me started on how revolting it is for jacob to have imprinted on that NEWBORN BABY. ew ew ew ew ew.

sorry for any spoilers i have just put out there.

Avitable said...

If they are immortal, it follows logically that their blood and sperm would be immortal, too. Just like they don't need oxygen, neither does their blood.

I loved that Bella was able to offset the newborn rage because she knew what to expect and because of her special ability.

the planet of janet said...

i'm sorry, but you cannot answer every question with "they're vampires ... therefore they can do anything"

they're FROZEN. their parts (blood, etc) dont circulate. she was clear about these things in book one.

bella has no twinges of blood lust after one minor experience with humans. uh. no, not even with advance warning. no twinges? not a single break in her facade? uh. no.

but i also notice you did not address the squig factor on the imprinting. which was vile.

in addition, what a great message to send to impressionable young girls (her primary audience). it's ok for the husband to HURT HER becuz she's in lurve and all blissed out. plus bella gets EVERYTHING she ever wanted. no sacrifice required.

and yes, this is a book. a piece of fiction. but she jumped the shark on this one.

Avitable said...

Bella had love, she didn't need blood!

The imprinting didn't bother me - she addressed that last book with the imprinting on the four year old.

I don't think it told girls that it's okay for a man to hurt them.

I think that Bella getting everything she ever wanted is the only way the book could end - you couldn't have it ending on a dismal note - that's like if Harry Potter actually died.

the planet of janet said...

alice had jasper too, but that didn't stop the blood lust.

also... harry potter actually had to make sacrifices along the way. people died. bad things happened. it was tied up in a pretty package at the end, but not until after he had suffered and, as a result, grown up.

i found the imprinting to be a cheap plot trick that was vile, to boot. i dont care about the 4 year old. it's gross. "i cant have the mom, but now i can have her newborn daughter."

yuck yuck yuck ick feh pooey.

melissa said...

while i'm so with you on the scrapbooking thing...shudder...
i adore crocheting. it's my hobby of choice...until i get bored and move on to finding a new hobby of choice...

Miss Anne Derstood said...

Adam, I have to agree with Janet, although I was upset with the imprinting for a different reason. To me, it felt like she did it JUST to tie everything up in a pretty bow. Lots of people wanted Jacob to win Bella's heart. She had to do something for Jacob. Giving him the baby was just a quick copout. And who in their right fucking minds would name their child renesmee? and yes, she HAD already addressed the newborn vampire thing. I don't care how SPECIAL bella is. It just was UNBELIEVABLE, even for the genre, which is SUPPOSED to be unbelievable.....

Jenni said...

I'm sorry, I am not familiar with this blog or with this series of books. Blame it on Janet. She said catfight and I came running. However, I'm laughing hysterically at the "it follows logically" comment. This is a discussion about vampires, right?

Miss Anne, might I suggest reading something non-vampirish for your hobby? Steinbeck is my favorite, but I know he's not everyone's cuppa. The point is, find something good for which you can have arguments that the plot elements do or do not "logically follow", you know, logically;o) (I know you didn't say it.) How about digital photography? It's a good hobby for those of us who are a)not quite artistically gifted, b)can find and appreciate beauty but not reproduce it, c)have serious ADD and need instant results.

the planet of janet said...

miss anne, i found the imprinting to be vile AND a cheap plot trick to make it all pretty...

and i read an interview with the author who said that she lived with "renesmee" for so long that it didn't seem odd to her. she can't be that stupid.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Hi. Janet & I have been discussing this for over a week. We're both highly disappointed in the book. How the characters departed from the way they've acted in the other three books, how Edward was aloof & not "loving" of Bella, how Bella was just OFF, how Meyer broke the rules. But, I actually told Janet early this week that Edward could NOT have fathered Renesmee (stupidest name EVER) as he had no blood flow and therefore could NOT get a stiffy. There's just NO WAY for it to happen. I don't even understand how he was having sex without blood flow. The book was such a disappointment.

the planet of janet said...

yeah, what aff said!!!

Dory said...

Naked Sodoku.

Burfica said...

okay I'm probably gonna open up a bunch of worms, but so far I like the 4th book.

I think it was written with the same style and expectability (not a word but it is now) as the others.

Everyone wanted bella married---Check

Everyone wanted her a vampire-- Check.

Most wanted them to have a family--Check

People wanted Jacob to imprint, but not to betray his love for Bella--Check

She is a sci fi writer. These books scream it. Nothing about them are normal, she has taken vampires and werewolves to a whole nother level. They say supernatural and magic alot in all the books, so just chalk it up to that.

Also I think the most dissapointing book by far was the 2nd one. If it didn't have that once of redeeming quality at the end I would have stopped reading the others.

All Bella did was whine and whoooaaa is me crap all through that book, give me a fucking break. That was saying more crap to girls than anything. OMG you can't be without a man you will just die. grrrrrr

so yeah there, I did it, opened those can of worms. hahahaha

you know what to do said...

how about finding the fukin poems and send them to me.

Miss Anne Derstood said...

Dear Mitchell, who is pretending to be "you know what to do":

Lighten up, fucker! I looked for them yesterday. They are not in the drawer I thought they were. I will look for them again.

Will keep you informed. hehehe

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Sounds as if you're getting in the (right) mood. Good on you.

DraMa said...

We are still here regardless:) I hope the husband stands up soon and declares something - living in limbo stinks. Good luck. I hope things get better for you