Monday, July 21, 2008

Random thoughts I thunk over the weekend:

1. "I've got to get a second job, and get out of debt. If those fucking stores would stop putting things on SALE, I'd be ok."

2. "Spicy Guacamole Pringles are the SHIT."

3. "If I could win the lottery, I'd move to North Carolina and live out my days as a non-practicing lesbian bartender."

4. "I wish my fingernails were longer. And cleaner. And POLISHED."

5. "Man, I wish I had a pancake."

6. "Oh, you did NOT just tell me I can't have OREO Cakesters."

7. "When the FUCK does Prison Break come back on?"

8. "Christ, I don't wanna have to drive back to Maryland again."

9. "Dear Sweet Tiny Baby Lord Jesus: Please take care of my baby girl in Germany. Send plagues of pestilence on anyone who dares to hurt her. Amen."

10. "Wonder if he's gonna eat that whole fucking cheesecake by himself?"

11. "This cheesecake could use some cherry pie filling on top."

12. "So help me God, if you ask me to 'Play with your wiener', ONE more time, I will SNIP it in the BUD. Swear to God."

13. "Dear God: Please kill Anna so she will stop putting things where I don't want them to be. Or, make husband fall in love with her so SHE will have to 'play with his wiener'. Amen."

14. "Lord have mercy, God, your driving scares the living SHIT out of me. Jesus, take the wheel."

15. "The Lord is not going to 'call you on home' at this time, so please suck it up."

16. "Dammit, why can't curling be a summer Olympic event?"

17. "Damn right I make the best squash casserole around. And you'd better not forget it, Mister."

18. "I need a hobby. Wonder what I'd be good at?"

19. "Dear Our-Father-Who-Art-In-Heaven: I need to lose 100 pounds before Christmas. And quit smoking. And make 43,726 dollars. And get a Brazilian wax. Thank you in advance for attending to these matters. Your faithful servent. Amen."

20. "Oh, you may as well give it UP, fucker. I will ALWAYS be smarter than you. Game over."

8 comments:

Avitable said...

I just want to know what flavor Quacamole is!

DraMa said...

I love the way you thunk.

Miss Anne Derstood said...

Dammit, Adam, I'm so embarrassed. A misspelled word? On MY blog? Grrr. I will fix it promptly.

baseballmom said...

HAHAHA! I wish I could remember so many random thoughts...too much pot in the teenage years, I guess.

Miss Anne Derstood said...

Dude, I wrote them down as I thunk them....

Burfica said...

ummm I might have the answer to one of yours.

I thought I read in the t.v. guide that they were cancelling prison break.

Yeah I was pissed was an understatement.

Bina said...

Ha Ha! You are to freaking funny. I LOVE reading your thoughts!

aka_Monty said...

STOP BOGARTING THE PRINGLES.
Do you stub your fingers on the clear plastic lids because you forgot you put the top back on, or is that just me?