Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Yes, I fully realize I need professional help....

Dear Internets:

So, here's the thing: A while back, I had another one of those "tense moments" and deleted my twitter AGAIN. I don't know what it is with me... some people break things... some people pick fights on innocent bystanders... some people eat junk food... ME? I delete things... Ok, I also break things, pick fights on innocent bystanders AND eat junk food. You see the title of this post, right?

Anyway, so I deleted my TWITTER. There was a time... long, long ago... when I was a POPULAR BITCH on twitter. But, after two... (or was it three?) deletions... I am again a nobody. A wallflower. That kid whose mom brings him to school and who whispers mathematical equations to himself while he holds his hand over his ears and rocks in his seat...

Here's the catch: This time, when I signed up for TWITTER, I am not allowed to use any recognizable form of my blog name. Those fuckers are on to me, let me tell you. So, I reverted to my REAL name which rhymes with GELODYANT... If you don't know me by that name, you will waste a lot of time hunting for GELODYANT, who, as far as I know, does not exist. But if she does, I want to be her best friend, because how cool a name is GelodyAnt? I'd call her Gel, because we would be LIKE THAT...

Anyway, find me on TWITTER, whydoncha, and make me the popular girl I crave and strive to be. And those of you (exactly FOUR, THANK YOU very much. Smoochies, I LOVE YOU!) who already have "followed" me on twitter, let someone else know who the heck I am, won't you please? I'll send ya' some Little Debbie cakes in appreciation.
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Also, a quick apology for those of you privileged enough to know my FULL name, and are a friend on FACEBOOK. About all those invitations to join PackRat, Scratch and Win, um... and all the rest of that shit? You totally don't have to join. I do it all for the credits, baby. Miss Anne needs the credits, because she seriously has whored herself out to PackRat... Completely taken over my life, that one.. OH! And if by some crazy miracle, you find yourself in possession of a RAIN card, drop it in my pack won't you? There's Little Debbie cakes in it for ya', swear to God.
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Miss Katie shared with me a funny Oprah story the other day, and really, don't we all love a funny Oprah story? Kate shared it with me in order to HELP me, with my complete inability to say no. Seems Oprah had the same problem some time ago. Here's how she solved it: She told everyone who asked her for a favor, "Let me pray about it." Later, she went back to the person and told them, "Jesus said no." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That cracks me up. I've decided to employ that technique in my daily life. I will begin today, with Husband. I cannot think of a more worthy recipient...
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We are at T-minus 3 days and counting, until our trip to Dollywood. Luann, if you read this, I'm so mad at you I could eat nails... but that would probably hurt when I pooped. You never answered my text messages!!! If you want to get drunk and share girly kisses with me, you better take off work on Monday and get your ass to Dollywood. I'm just sayin'... it's not often that I offer to share girly kisses. And don't you guys just LOVE Mitch and Miss Katie? On behalf of Mitch, who I KNOW won't mind one little tiny bit, I'd like to invite you ALL to Dollywood this weekend... Mitch's treat. He's such a loving, philanthropic individual. And he's RICH!! Lucky, lucky me..
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I'm off to work now; another day, another dollar, and all that, you know. But I will be checking my TWITTER and my FACEBOOK Packrat game throughout the day. I know you guys won't disappoint me. 'Cause you're all just so SWELL!!!

Love, and stuff...

Miss Anne Derstood

4 comments:

the planet of janet said...

i had a great comment, but i deleted it....

Avitable said...

So I have to go searching for you? Or you could just re-add me on Twitter.

Hilly said...

Please add me because I am too dumb to rhyme today ;)

snackiepoo

(rhymes with "whackieloo")

Burfica said...

okay I'll go to twitter after being gone for a couple weeks and I will re add you. I better get some little debbie love!!!!