Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Madness...

I want to be funny again. I want to laugh and snort and write about the deliciously goofy and hilarious things my kids do. I want to tell stories of The Husband's obscenely ignorant remarks. I want to talk shit about our clients and the complete MORONS that I run into on a daily basis.

But...

I'm so angry.

Oh my God, I'm so angry I feel like my head is going to explode. It's eating away at my soul. It's feeding on my fear and my frustration and my disappointment.

I've never in my life been so angry. Not even when my mother, who was the BEST person I've EVER known, died at the ripe old age of 51. Not even when some kids I went to church with wrapped a trash bag around a little old lady's head who lived only three houses from me, and let her die... Because she wouldn't loan them her car.

I wasn't this angry when I read about the mom who drowned her children in the bathtub. Or when my brother came into my house and stole a thousand dollars of my dad's money that was hidden here. Or when they cancelled Alien Nation.

Every single cell in my body is SCREAMING in outrage. Every smile, every laugh, every word that comes from someone else's mouth fills me with malice. I want to punch the world in the nose.

I don't know what to do with it, all this anger. I don't even really know why I am FEELING it. Despite what you may think is true, I CAUSED this mess that I find myself in. This fucking pit of excrement is of my OWN MAKING.

I really, truly, honestly, don't know what to do...

4 comments:

baseballmom said...

I think you need a trip to Washington so we can go drinking and vent-that would help, I guarantee it.

Divalicious said...

Maybe you should make an appointment with a psychologist or talk to someone and let it all out. It might help.

I hope you feel less angry soon.

Dory said...

Do lots more of this venting and lean on your friends. That's what we're here for. We love you just the way you are.

Dory

the planet of janet said...

love you...