Monday, April 27, 2009

Divorced? Me? Are you SURE?!

So, hey internets... how the hell are you?

I've been away for awhile because I've been busy playing on facebook. Would you like to know what's new in my life? I'm going to tell you anyway....

The divorce was final on April 6. Just 35 days from the date is was filed. I don't know if that's a record in my county, but it's definitely a record here in my office.

So, after the hearing, I moved into my new house and it was like a dream come true. Granted, everything that COULD go wrong DID go wrong, I had boxes and boxes and boxes of boxes to unpack, and I moved in without a bed or a washer and dryer. Or a sofa. But move in I did, and I have never in my life felt so much peace.

And of course, since nothing in my life can go according to plan, my EX decides he wants to be my boyfriend. *sigh*

For about the next two weeks, he calls me night and day, wanting to visit, wanting to tell me how miserable he is, and wanting sex. Oh yes! He wanted sex! I tried, I really tried hard to be understanding. I knew he was going to be lonely. I also knew he thought I was going to run right back to him and beg him to take me back. I had no intention of doing this. So it was a fine line I walked....

Finally, I met one of my new neighbors. Who just happened to be a boy I went to school with, and who also just happened to work at the same place my EX works. I thought it was funny, because they are friends, so I called him up and told him. "Guess who lives right across the street from me? JIMMY Frickin' H!"

Ex was not pleased. Ex was so not pleased that he proceeded to bitch about it for five minutes while we were on the phone. I was on my way to his house to pick up my girls, and so I said, "BYE!" and hung up. When I got there, God help me Jeebus, he was like, NEAR TEARS, and saying that NOW HE KNEW I WAS GOING TO GO OUT WITH JIMMY H.

I tried to reassure him, I have absolutely NO intention whatsoever of going out with Jimmy H. NONE! EVER!

But he kept at it so long that I said, "You wanted this fucking divorce. You filed for it. Guess what? You got it. You have no say anymore in ANYTHING I do. Get the fuck over yourself."

It felt good at the time, but since then, it has been at LEAST once a week that he asks if I've seen Jimmy H. The one week that he didn't ask, when Miss Katie was here, stupid Jimmy H walks over one night while I'm outside having a smoke. So we sit on the porch in the dark and talk about all the people from our class that we hate. He was there maybe 30 min.

Did I tell EX? No, I didn't. I actually forgot about it, and didn't think of it again until today. You know why I thought of it today? Because the EX just called me on the phone and said he'd passed JIMMY H at work today and JIMMY H had LOOKED at him. And apparently, he looked at him with a SHIT EATING GRIN on his face.

I said, "you are ridiculous. he did not." The EX assured me that OH YES HE BY GOD DID!!!

I said, "Not my problem. I did not put that grin there, I assure you."
"I know," says the EX. "Cause you said you haven't seen him and I believe you."

We hang up, and I think. Fffffuuuuccccckkkkk. I did see him. Sort of. On my front porch. At frickin' 11 at night.

5 minutes later, the EX calls back. "You are not lying to my about him are you?"


"Long as you are telling me the truth it will be ok." says the EX.

Now... here is my problem. And here is what I WANT to say to him:

"It will ok, anyway, motherfucker, because I am free and I can do whatever I want with WHOMEVER I want, and that includes Jimmy Frickin' H, even though I would not go with him to the FLEA MARKET."

But now that I have already lied, he's gonna think I have something to hide. UGH! Why do I let this shit happen?

He divorced me! He has no right to do this! Understand that I am NOT afraid of him. IT's the embarrassment and humiliation should he say or do something to Jimmy H.

I'm open to suggestions here, because honestly, I don't know what the hell do about this mess. It is not in me to be mean to him. (He would argue that the fact that I cheated on him was VERY mean, but then, this is not HIS blog, is it?)

I just want to be left alone. He divorced me. He has no right to expect me to be his "girlfriend", and even less right to ask me for sex.

And so, internets, other than that, I'm doing great!


Anonymous said...

Damn its good to know you are ok. Been worried about you. As for the ex jsut tell him its none of his business whatever you do and you will not discuss it with him any further. tell him to go to his chineese lover and leave you alone

baseballmom said...

I've had fun with ya on FB, but missed your writing! Sounds like Ex thinks he can have his freedom and eat it too...ha. I totally understand about not being mean, I'd be the same way, but I think you oughta set some boundaries and tell him that what you do on YOUR time is your business, and also that if you DO have a boyfriend, it's not gonna be someone that he can check up on every day at work! I applaud you so, so much for making this move and starting over for YOU, rock.

the planet of janet said...

argghhh. do i have to tell you what i think of this???

mr. ex-marks-the-spot needs to get a grip.

you don't owe him anything... ESPECIALLY not explanations or truth. if you want to eliminate YOUR potential embarrassment, then tell jimmy h that the dickhead will probably tell him stuff with malice aforethought and he should ignore it.


Kirsten said...

Aaaand! She! Is! Back! I've missed you so.....Just focus on you and the rest is going to fall into place.

Bina said...

SO glad you are back! I am so excited for you. You have your OWN place, and NO ONE can tell you what to do, what not to do, how to decorate, where to put shit, NOTHING! Not even who to talk to!

Here is my suggestion. If he brings up Jimmie, tell him it's none of his business, and if he doesn't shut the fuck up, you will hang up. Then, if he doesn't shut the fuck up, hang up.

I had to do this with my first ex-husband because he would call and act like we were still married or something. One time I said, "Do not ever yell at me again. If you do, I'll just hang up." I hung up, he called back twice and I hung up, and he has NEVER yelled at me again.

Anonymous said...


Tell him the truth, then tell him to never fucking call you again, never fucking email you, never fucking talk to you, ever ever ever again. And after you do that and he contacts you again (AND OH FUCK YEAH HE WILL) slap him with a no contact order.


He wanted this divorce, he can damn well have it.


"Go ahead and tell us what you really think, Dory. Don't sugarcoat it."

Damn right.

Burfica said...

You have been missed my friend, but as always I stalk. hahahahaha

Sounds like maybe your heart and soul is a little lighter. I'm glad for that.

I've not blogged much either, been spending tons of time on facebook too. lhahahhahaa